This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
