i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize