Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
