Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
