yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
