so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
