We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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