Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
