just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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