I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
