'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
