I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
