smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
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