he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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