as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
