I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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