Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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