i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Randomize
