I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
