I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize