You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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