I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
