Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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