I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
