Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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