I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
