We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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