you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
