I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I wish you could order shots online.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
