It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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