I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I wish i was in the wii world.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
