they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
