1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize