Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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