I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
