I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
