the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
