the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
All the doctor said was why
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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