Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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