Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
