I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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