I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
