but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
