Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
