I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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