Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
