I want to stick my p in your. b.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
