Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
