I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
