I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Randomize
