theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
