I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize