I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize