wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
