I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
