Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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