ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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