Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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