The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
do herpes really smell.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
