We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
