After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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