Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
