I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
