I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
