what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
