She said her name was "party"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
