I hate your face
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
