and she was petting her beer can
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize