Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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